Tag Archives: Happy New Year

Absence makes the heart grow colder

It’s seems as if history is repeating itself.

So I am a scorpio so I think it has something to do with many of my traits and quirks. Nonetheless I kinda feel as if I need a change…just a little.

Last night I was talking with Buddy just to get an understanding of us being on the same page. I practically asked him “what are we?” just in a different form to which the typical female in my situation would ask. 

He in turned said that “there could be more but you are to distant.”

When I first heard him say this my first reaction was a very impulsive one to say well, “fuck you too, let’s end it”, but after much needed sleep. I woke up a few hours before my alarm and the previous conversation was still on my mind. 

I was thinking about how the hell am I going to break this shit off with buddy and in a smooth, less painful heart breaking way for me; but then I went back to sleep.

I woke to the gental sounds of my alarm and had a serious deja-vu moment. The words from buddy from the previous night were clearly reminiscent from a previous love in my life.

The previous love ended many years ago and after it ended it took me about 2-3 years to truly realize what he was saying.

For many years I thought that the previous love and I ended because he was stupid and didn’t appreciate heaving sex here and there with no attachments. He pretty much told me that he didn’t like the fact that I would just show up every few months and have sex then disappear until I wanted him again. 
For me I didn’t think anything of it and was just going off his vibes. For me if I get the feeling that you only want sex that’s what your going to get but if you want more than just sex I test you a few times a to see where your mind is at; once you fail all bets are off so don’t punish me because you didn’t take the bait when you had multiple chances.

Back then I was young and a hopeless romantic. Watching all these movies about how the guy will fall for you and want to be with forever. There may have been a game or two played but the biggest game of it all was distance.  

I used to believe absence made the heart grow fonder.

It wasn’t until read that in a book that absence makes the heart grow colder to which I had my “Eureka!” moment.

So immediately when I woke up this morning I realized if I want to keep this relationship and not fuck up I need to balance my hermit life and social life just a little bit better.

I never realized it but constantly being away and by myself was so normal to me but abnormal to whoever I was with at the time. Apparently others didn’t appreciate it. It’s strange that I find comfort in solitude, but yet there are time I want to be around others; mainly buddy. I realized during this moment of epiphany, even as I write this, that if I don’t change I will be lonely as hell. FOREVER.

I have yet to come to share this moment of clarity with buddy but I’m hoping that if he is serious at being with me that he will understand that I be dealing with some internal shit and that he takes some time to realize it’s worth the wait.

So yeah that’s what I am dealing with so early in the year.

I usually say I’ll try to post more but as a lie life happens I’ll post when I post. I know I’m late but Happy New Year fuckers.

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Posted by on February 1, 2017 in My Thoughts


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Oh Patron, you know I love you right? You were the first drink I ever fell in love with when I became legal to drink. I have had other affairs prior to you but they meant nothing. They all tasted like juice compared to the supple agave nectar you derived from. Oh the taste of your aged flavors dance along my tongue and smoothly drip down my throat leaving the sweet smell to linger in my mouth. After minutes go by and I have had all that I can handle from you after 5 shots, you firmly let me know who you are and what you’re about.

You are the one the opens me up and tends to extra life to my day but, you are also the one who have me becoming very intimate with porcelain when I’ve had too much of you.

Forever my love but I have to be honest lately I have been having an affair with Bombay.

I am sorry for this betrayal but, you have to understand this was not to hurt you but I was introduced and hooked by the first sip.

Please forgive for I will make this all up tonight to ring in the new year.

Happy new year mufuckas

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Posted by on December 31, 2015 in Dumb Sh*t, Humor, Random Sh*t


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The last day

Ever since i’ve turned 21 NYE has sort of become a big deal to me. I’m not one of those people that say the same shitty line of “New year, new me” in which they ultimately don’t do anything to change. I’m  not stupid enough to say that bullshit. It’s just that ever since i was underage my family always seemed to go out and enjoy themselves and leave my latch-key ass in the  house.
I hated but ever since the clock hit 12 on 11/09/2007 I  was ready to do back flips, because I knew that I was going go out and do the typical NYE shit. Well that didn’t happen.
I know you’re like well why didn’t you chill with friends…well I am a lonely stoner and there are few people in which i did hang out with but guess what all those muthafuckers were over 21.
I never did the whole club thing on NYE because honestly why the fuck would you go to a crowded club where they are going to triple the door price just so they can say the made the year. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT. LITERALLY. I’m not trying to go to a club that packed, hot as hell and sweet out my hair and new dress. And get all the way fuck outta here if you think i am going to where some heels to stand in all night and get hammertime toes.
I could be a Debbie Downer and say it’s not that serious and it just another day to be doing all that shit but fuck it enjoy your muthafuckin self. Whether you’re doing it at home, club or somewhere on a beach. It’s a great time for reflection on the fun shit that happened not the bad.
So currently i am at a hair salon getting my wig done so i can go have a party at my house. That’s right i am getting dressed up to stay at home and party my ass off. It’s BYOB, so that’s pretty clear of open bar, music will be provided by whatever Spotify has and food will be deliciously catered by Chick-fil-A. The grand finally will include fireworks.
Doesn’t that sound fun and safe and it’s available for all ages. I have the family friendly way of bringing in the new year.
Plus it’s a great way for my dogs to be with me.
Yes, I am a dog lover.

Enjoy the new year and be safe and see ya’ll tomorrow. Hopefully shit works out for you all and that i can tell ya’ll how shit is with me more often. I know i tell that same lie each time i post but hey a muthafucker be busy.

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Posted by on December 31, 2014 in Life, My Thoughts, News



New Year, New You huh?

Happy New Year phuckers

I know I’m late but work has been a little busy, but hopefully all the Happy New Year,  resolution, fireworks and any photos that were taken on New Years Eve have come to a complete halt. By now everyone has been told to have a happy new year that should last them until the next holiday, MLK day on Jan 20th. 

Many people who make resolutions for the new year just make to say they did it but honestly why do you need yo make goals at the beginning of the year so you can start doing things.
For those people who clearly could have made changes anytime throughout the year but decided January 1st was the day tell them to sit their dumbass down.

The only thing I can wish for us to try and be successful in this upcoming year. I am not going to be like these other dumbass people who say “this is going to be my year”. People who say shit like that need to be slapped in the face with a gallon of milk.

Only thing you can do is just do your best and hope shit works out and when it does you can recap at the end of the year and say if was my year but don’t call it prior to it happening. You’re practically jinxing yourself.

On another late, seriously extra late pass, I just watched M. Night Shymalan’s Unbreakable and maybe it’s me but this movie sucked to an unbelievable degree. I now remember why I wasn’t excited to see our when it was released. I was only watching if because I couldn’t find the remote.

Random side note: I need some new music to listen to.

Another random side note: I wonder how would things be if people didn’t care or find the personal lives of celebrities and fake ass celebrities so interesting?

Oh well until next time

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Posted by on January 7, 2014 in My Thoughts, News


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