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Oh Patron, you know I love you right? You were the first drink I ever fell in love with when I became legal to drink. I have had other affairs prior to you but they meant nothing. They all tasted like juice compared to the supple agave nectar you derived from. Oh the taste of your aged flavors dance along my tongue and smoothly drip down my throat leaving the sweet smell to linger in my mouth. After minutes go by and I have had all that I can handle from you after 5 shots, you firmly let me know who you are and what you’re about.

You are the one the opens me up and tends to extra life to my day but, you are also the one who have me becoming very intimate with porcelain when I’ve had too much of you.

Forever my love but I have to be honest lately I have been having an affair with Bombay.

I am sorry for this betrayal but, you have to understand this was not to hurt you but I was introduced and hooked by the first sip.

Please forgive for I will make this all up tonight to ring in the new year.

Happy new year mufuckas

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Posted by on December 31, 2015 in Dumb Sh*t, Humor, Random Sh*t

 

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Lesbian Porn

Let me state this, I don’t have a problem with homosexual people and want them to experience the same rights as heterosexual folks but my main thing is the sexual act of lesbians.

Recently I was watching porn and rubbing one out, because of my accidental celibacy and I decided to look at some different shit. This is not my first time looking at lesbian porn but I don’t think I was paying attention at the time. Anyway I looked at some lesbian porn and the entire time I’m watching it, I just kept looking confused and had so many questions. Like are these real lesbians? Why does one have a strap-on under her clothes like it was actually her dick? Why the fuck are they grinding on each others leg? Believe me there were more questions but I truly didn’t understand it.
I decided to look at one were I guess they were actually lesbians (lesbians that were more butch) and still more questions. I’ve been watching porn for years and seen some very VERY strange shit.
I’ve seen threesomes with a guy and 2 girls or a girl and 2 guys but I never had questions it was self explanatory. I just didn’t understand lesbian porn at all. Maybe it’s not for me to understand and i really should be thinking to hard about sex especially lesbian porn but seriously something just needs to be explained or cleared up.
I guess the main confusion come from looking at lesbians have sex with a dildo blows my mind. I mean like apparently these women have sworn off dick yet they want to be fucked with a fake one. These hoes (everyone’s are hoes to me) are being forced to have semi-hetero sex. I can’t be the only one who has thought of this.
These hoes won’t have sex with a guy the same way but they will with a female, why? Why is it that you grind on each others legs when you can just do the shit yourself. I know if there are any lesbians reading this maybe the way you have sex is not the same in these lesbian porn flicks but if you do I think your look stupid.
I damn sure don’t understand scissoring.
Maybe it’s the entire act of being with a female. I understand the situation of being with someone who understands female issues without you having to explain because of course they are female as well. I just don’t think I could do it for more than a day, not to mention when your on your period. I know for sure I’m not pleasant and don’t want to be bothered why the fuck would I want to deal with another female and her shit.
I guess I’ll add this to my list of strange porn shit I’ve seen.

Disclosure: For the following person(s) that take offense to my opinion get the fuck out of your feelings. Have a great day

 
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Posted by on October 1, 2012 in Dumb Sh*t, Humor, My Thoughts, Random Sh*t

 

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Happy Weed Dealer Appreciation Day

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So for all the slow conservatives and wanna be liberals today is 4/20. Its a day in which many potheads, weed heads, whatever celebrate every year besides them doing it every other day. If you want more info about 4/20 be sure to Google.
I’m sure a lot of dealers are grateful of today because they have a possibility of running out of supply; this is like their biggest payday of the year. If your dealer was on the stock market you would definitely tell people to buy this stock because today is a day they will have a spike in sales.
My first time actually participating on 4/20 was last year i had a private stash for my bestfriends ex, in the end i didn’t get high because i wasn’t doing it long enough and i was paranoid lol. This was not my first time burning but that is another hilarious story I’ll share another time.
In the mean time listen to all your weed songs today which should include songs from Wiz Khalifa, Curren$y, Bob Marley and of course Bone Thugs N Harmony.

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Posted by on April 20, 2012 in Dumb Sh*t, Humor

 

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Calories Burned During Sex

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Next time you trying to get the box just tell her how many potential calories she’ll lose.
Click here to read more

SN: I need to have sex asap, I’ve been celibate for 4 months SMH that’s not good.

 
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Posted by on March 21, 2012 in Humor, Random Sh*t

 

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Video

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

During my daily excursion through through world wide web i stumbled over to Ego Trip in which i found this video of the dancing leprechaun. Buddy seriously get down with his bad self. Enjoy and happy St. Patty’s Day

 
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Posted by on March 14, 2012 in Humor, Random Sh*t, Video

 

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The Streets

 

Can’t get enough of this commercial

…The Streets haha

 
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Posted by on January 20, 2012 in Humor, Video

 

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Things that should never be….hotdog x spaghetti

 
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Posted by on November 19, 2010 in Dumb Sh*t, Humor, Pictures

 

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