Oh Patron, you know I love you right? You were the first drink I ever fell in love with when I became legal to drink. I have had other affairs prior to you but they meant nothing. They all tasted like juice compared to the supple agave nectar you derived from. Oh the taste of your aged flavors dance along my tongue and smoothly drip down my throat leaving the sweet smell to linger in my mouth. After minutes go by and I have had all that I can handle from you after 5 shots, you firmly let me know who you are and what you’re about.

You are the one the opens me up and tends to extra life to my day but, you are also the one who have me becoming very intimate with porcelain when I’ve had too much of you.

Forever my love but I have to be honest lately I have been having an affair with Bombay.

I am sorry for this betrayal but, you have to understand this was not to hurt you but I was introduced and hooked by the first sip.

Please forgive for I will make this all up tonight to ring in the new year.

Happy new year mufuckas

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Posted by on December 31, 2015 in Dumb Sh*t, Humor, Random Sh*t


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Best friends become strangers

So has anyone ever had that friend you been cool with since day 1 and damn near 10 years go by and out the blue they’re ignoring you and not talking to you.

I know what you’re thinking well, you must have done something wrong. Sorry Charlie, but no.

If what I did was ask for money she owed me, well go play hop scotch in the street.

This is some shit that has confused the hell out of me for the past 3 weeks.

I’ve called and called and nothing. I’ve left voicemail and still nada.

Christmas came and gone and still I’m being avoided like a bill collector.

If you’re mad at someone and you don’t let them know then there really is no issue. Also if you’re over the age of 30 and you still can’t express yourself to people you called your best friend, hell even your sister then you seriously should seek help.

I’ve always kept it 100 with her and I thought it would be the same but, hey with how things are today you can’t expect people to use their brain let alone come to a person they supposedly have a problem with.

It’s sad that it’s come to this. I was upset then but after a few months I think I’ll see if she is still alive and call her to see what the issue was.

Anyway it’s the new year upon us and hopefully I can expect for there to be bigger and better changes.

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Posted by on December 31, 2015 in Life, My Thoughts



Therapy Session

I swear niggas are slow they are just as confused as females that claim to know what they want.
A female can say that they want a relationship but as soon as it’s started and that honeymoon phase is over she trying to call it quits or does some shit to fuck it up.

It’s been on and off between me and this asshole and for a brief time it ended but like magnets couldn’t stay away from each other. I get a whole big speech of how we should be together and blah blah blah.
Totally apprehensive about going back eventually we do now and I get some bullshit of how he not trying to be in a relationship with me because I have an attitude problem and don’t take anything serious.

REALLY NIGGA!!!?!!?!!!!!?!!?!!!!?

I refuse to be one of the people that start inadvertently start telling their ex or whatever to accept them for the person they are by saying ” how bad they are going to miss them”, “how lucky they were” and some bullshit of “how they won’t find anyone like them”.
You know the dumb shit. I hate when people, primarily females practically begging a muthafucker to not break up and take them back.

Sorry but not sorry.

BITCH grow a fucking spine and walk away from that chicken dinner and get you a winner, without that “I ain’t going to beg your ass but actually I am” attitude.

Anyway back to me a buddy, I know that I am a smart ass, sarcastic muthafucker but I don’t look at it as having a bad attitude. You can’t really say that I have a bad attitude if your an asshole and can’t tell me a single example of what I did. I am a person that I learn from example. You can’t say I did something wrong but not tell me what I did. That doesn’t make any fucking sense. ANYWHERE.

Who the fuck is he to say that I don’t take shit seriously. That alone is a clear fucking sign that this asshole doesn’t know the difference between his ass and a hole in the ground. 

This is the shit I go through being single and dealing with idiots. I honestly hold back the most in some of the shit that he says, so excuse the fuck out of me. If a collective group of people heard the simplest shit that comes out of his mouth they might think he was dropped on his head. LOL slightly kidding.

UGH! I needed to vent about this idiot because my best friend and sister would’ve slapped the shit out of me once I finished, hell maybe mid way of me yelling, screaming and; dare I say it; crying. Sad I know but hey muthafucker I can’t be gang banging on everything.

LMAO…I tried to say that shit as if I gave a fuck about this bitchass nigga.


I say this now because I am on the outskirts of relationship zone, but because I’ve known this same asshole for nearly 10 years now I know that it’s going to take a minute before we put each other back in friendzone.

Before you even say, we’ll technically he has been put you in the friendzone, fuck you bitch no he hasn’t. This punk ass is too proud to admit shit and sadly to say I know him to well. Plus not to really go there but he praises my pussy every time I’m in his presence. He damn sure isn’t the only one, who does either.

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Posted by on April 21, 2015 in Random Sh*t


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The last day

Ever since i’ve turned 21 NYE has sort of become a big deal to me. I’m not one of those people that say the same shitty line of “New year, new me” in which they ultimately don’t do anything to change. I’m  not stupid enough to say that bullshit. It’s just that ever since i was underage my family always seemed to go out and enjoy themselves and leave my latch-key ass in the  house.
I hated but ever since the clock hit 12 on 11/09/2007 I  was ready to do back flips, because I knew that I was going go out and do the typical NYE shit. Well that didn’t happen.
I know you’re like well why didn’t you chill with friends…well I am a lonely stoner and there are few people in which i did hang out with but guess what all those muthafuckers were over 21.
I never did the whole club thing on NYE because honestly why the fuck would you go to a crowded club where they are going to triple the door price just so they can say the made the year. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT. LITERALLY. I’m not trying to go to a club that packed, hot as hell and sweet out my hair and new dress. And get all the way fuck outta here if you think i am going to where some heels to stand in all night and get hammertime toes.
I could be a Debbie Downer and say it’s not that serious and it just another day to be doing all that shit but fuck it enjoy your muthafuckin self. Whether you’re doing it at home, club or somewhere on a beach. It’s a great time for reflection on the fun shit that happened not the bad.
So currently i am at a hair salon getting my wig done so i can go have a party at my house. That’s right i am getting dressed up to stay at home and party my ass off. It’s BYOB, so that’s pretty clear of open bar, music will be provided by whatever Spotify has and food will be deliciously catered by Chick-fil-A. The grand finally will include fireworks.
Doesn’t that sound fun and safe and it’s available for all ages. I have the family friendly way of bringing in the new year.
Plus it’s a great way for my dogs to be with me.
Yes, I am a dog lover.

Enjoy the new year and be safe and see ya’ll tomorrow. Hopefully shit works out for you all and that i can tell ya’ll how shit is with me more often. I know i tell that same lie each time i post but hey a muthafucker be busy.

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Posted by on December 31, 2014 in Life, My Thoughts, News



The Verdict

It just won’t stop. Today there was a new verdict of the Eric Garner trial of a NY police officer putting a man into a choke hold, in which apparently it is illegal in NY but the grand jury ruled that the police officer that used unnecessary force during the arrest of this victim which eventually caused his death should not be indicted.

This is a repeated issue in which is a serious injustice and makes me want to say why is that these grand jurors coming up with these decisions, especially in the case of Eric Garner because the shit wsd on camera.

It’s almost like deja vu’ because we all just dealt with this same shit last week listening to the verdict of Mike Brown and how there was no indictment for the police officer that fatally killed a teen after a fight in which I would agree should have been arrested but not killed.

I personally can say that I am disappointed but pretty much what the prosecutor said about the Ferguson case was if you don’t like what happened work on changing the laws.

In which he has a point there is so much shit that happens in this world and we have sat and took it and didn’t shake shit up.
I am a happy that after all this time people were able to continue their protests because we all know how people are with situations like this.

We need to do is make changes and again shake shit up so we don’t have to have this shit happened every few years.

After all the information we’ve received from this whole thing we know that Mike Brown wasn’t entirely innocent throughout this whole ordeal, but anyone with half a brain knows that the force from Officer Wilson was a complete misuse of power that the police tend to use and try their best to clean up the mess they made.

It’s the same thing about the Eric Garner case in which you would have to be blind, deaf and incompetent to not clearly see that the police were trying to start some shit and that’s clearly what they did.

President Obama said that “it’s time to stop talking about it and time for action”. You can’t help to agree since the Attorney General Eric Holder will do a complete review of the Eric Garner case. At this point we can only hope that there will be change because shit us just going to keep getting worse.

The protests are all good but honestly what is that going to do if we don’t do more to actually make changes. I know that many of the most recent generation didn’t have tge experience our older family members had during the sixties but we need to do more than just walking in the streets.


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Posted by on December 3, 2014 in News


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Everyone is an activist

So if you logged on to the internet within the past 48 hours your should’ve come across the story about Mike Brown; if not please stop being a dumbass and go do some research.
There is still an investigation and angered citizens in St. Louis and many corners of the world about the recently graduated teenager who was killed by a police officer. 
OK so let me say this first, I am going to look at this as a person being killed and not by race. I know that racism is still alive and unfortunately well in this world and I think it will start to really become smaller once all the old racist start dying off, but that’s a discussion for a different post. In this case I know that it may unbelievably apparent that it might have been a race issue but the cop is still a mystery until more details come out.
Moving on… the death of this teenager was unnecessary, inexcusable and from all of the eyewitnesses that were interviewed so far it seemingly should be that the officer should be put underneath a prison, but knowing how well the justice department looks out for their own there will have to be a big ass miracle that will have to happen in order for this fool to go to jail.

This is a terrible tragedy that has happened to this teenager and his family and friends, which so happened to had been overshadowed yesterday by the suicide of Robin Williams. Since then people have been in an uproar on social media and everyone has turned into a social networking activist. What I say to those people is…sit your ass down.

This is not the first nor last the last time shit like this will happen, unless there is a change. People are quick to get up in arms when shit like this happens but once the judge has made their ruling or people stop(sorry to say) giving a shit people just give up and move on. The best and more recent example is the Trayvon Martin case. People were ready to rally and march and wearing hoodies, and I got it but once shit was final in court people moved on.
People like to make a blow out of everything and then when people are barely talking about it, its on to the next.

Let me make this clear the deaths of Mike Brown,  Trayvon Martin and countless others are not and should not be the talk of things when “the man” has fucked up and killed someone or shit has gone down.  People should not use it as the occasional quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, Malcolm X, and Rev Al Sharpton when trying to relay the injustice that happened that one day during the hype of situations like this. The deaths of these young men should not be taken in vain when the time is right.

During times like these everyone wants to act like Martin and Malcolm but don’t have what it takes to actually make a difference. See if one thing that sets these fake ass activists from legends in history is that they weren’t going to stop until things were right. They didn’t take breaks and talk about other shit, they had a task make change and a difference and they were fully aware of the risks when it came down to getting shit correct. These fake ass activists only will advocate during times in which some people are getting killed. 
Now I know someone reading this might say “hell since you talking about why don’t you be about it” I have no problem saying I am not an activist nor am I one to make change.  I am a leader and follower in some situations just like many of us are. I have brilliant moments in which I lead and others in which I know I need to follow and let someone else take the wheel. My moments in leading are not nowhere near helping to move millions of people into a united future.  I have no problem saying I know my limits.
Many people on social media are Internet famous and thats all good to be able to spread some informative news that’s happening around the world to make people aware but hey don’t be a part time advocate, take that platform that Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Dorsey, Evan Williams,  Kevin Systrom, Mike Krieger and many others have invented and use it make some noise.
It all cool to be on and sign a petition but do more.
The Occupy movement was all good but damn where the hell are they. I honestly haven’t heard mich from them in a while. I mean with them it’s the perfect platform to start from they are trying to help the 99% and with the killing of innocent people I’m sure there had to be some division of there organization that has to deal with the needs of 100% of the population if not and one if them reads this,  I strongly recommend that you do it would be for the betterment of this country we live in.
Everyone has ideas, it’s the one person who acts upon them and make them happen.

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Posted by on August 12, 2014 in Life, My Thoughts, News, People


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Regular News Update

For the past few months I have been looking for a home to purchase.  I am growing up in the world and I clearly need to start doing grown up things.

At one point the “Cooking Channel” and “The Food Network” were the channels I watched religiously but now I have been stuck on watching “HGTV”. I am completely overwhelmed and filled with anxiety at the same time.

I, like so many other, first time home owners have a lot of expectations in addition to that bitch called reality. There are so many things that I want to do but I need to make sure that I don’t end up in the poor house trying to do it.  Only thing I can do is just hope for good luck in my new endeavor of moving on up.

Anyway on to slightly different info I have not had my back blown out in a minute and my level of patience is growing at an all time high. For a number of different reasons. Just to name a few, “regular dick” buddy decided to be an asshole just minutes after the new year, so needless to say I am not speaking to him. Also “birthday dick” buddy (I got dick from on my birthday, i.e Birthday Fun) is at a distance for the his reasons. It’s kind of amazing how a good couple of amazing strokes will change my attitude.

I have recently been offered some dick just recently but unfortunately I’ve had it in the past and it was horrible, and that’s me putting it nicely. I would rather be irritable and frustrated then take him up on his offer.

Although it had been only 13 days into the new year I still haven’t talked to “regular dick” buddy. I thought about just being the bigger person just to use him but unfortunately the relationship we have made me stop thinking with my homegirl that lives in my panties and stay using my brain. He was the asshole and once he removes his head from his ass I’m sure he’ll get his act together.

As for “birthday dick” buddy, he needs to get his shit together pronto. He has one last opportunity otherwise he will be like “regular dick” buddy who begged for 4 years to get the box until I it was available.

Clearly I don’t have a romantic love life just an asshole and a weirdo.

I seriously need to get my life together.

In baking news, I can see with the end of last year and my constant baking for new clients this year maybe exciting and filled with flour in the air. I couple orders have come in so far. Only time will tell how I wm able to grow and expand.

Until next time phuckers, hopefully then I will have had an attitude adjustment.

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Posted by on January 13, 2014 in Life, My Thoughts, News


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